Alien Boyfriend
by AestheticAcoustic
Summary: A space ship crash lands in the woods behind Deidara's house. Inside, he find an alien and decides to help the injured red head. What will come of this? Better than it sounds. Full summary inside. SasoDei, yaoi, Lemon.
1. The Alien

Here's a new fanfic! YAY!

Summary: A space ship crash lands in the woods outside Deidara's house. He goes exploring and finds an injured alien. He takes him home and takes care of him. But what if he wakes up and decides Deidara would make a good mate? And what happens when alien beasts get loose and go on a rampage? Lots and lots of crap…

I can't do good summary's!! T_T

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

**Alien Boyfriend**

Deidara's head shot up from his homework when he heard a loud noise. He quickly rushed to the window. Outside, he could see light and smoke coming from the woods not far from his house. He glanced at the clock, which read 1:00 a.m., and decided to go check it out. He left his room, grabbed a coat from the chair in living room, slipped on his shoes and left the house.

After a short trudge through the woods, he came across a very large, smoking heap of metal and debris. Upon further inspection, he realized it was a space ship. Every nerve in his body screamed at him to turn and run, but, against better judgment, he located an entrance and wandered in.

Everything was slightly sideways because of the crash, so Deidara had to keep a hand against a wall to explore the craft. The entire ship seemed to be made of metal and there were several strange parts Deidara had never seen before. There were several tubes along the walls that were filled with some sort of bubbling liquid. The lights continually flickered, giving the silent hallway a very creepy feel.

There were several rooms along the long stretch of hall. They had those kinds of doors in the sci-fi movies that would slide open when you pushed a button. Deidara tried a few, but they seemed to be damaged from the crash. He came across one that was slightly open and peeked inside. There were many large tubes along the walls; each had a different alien species inside. The blonde shivered. This was _way_ too freaky. The door refused to budge any further, so he continued along the hallway.

There was an archway at the end that entered into a large room. Judging from all of the buttons, levers, and various other foreign objects, it must have been the control room. It had apparently taken the most damage, as there was smoke rising from the control board and several things were broken and emitting sparks.

Deidara wondered around this room for several minutes, trying to make some kind of sense of the strange language that marked everything. Some of the buttons were glowing and flashing in various colors. He jumped slightly when a small section suddenly sparked viciously for about two seconds. He let out a sigh of relief and put a hand over his pounding heart. He let out a loud shriek and jumped back, however, when something behind him crashed. He sighed in relief again when he realized that a large, liquid filled tube had simply fallen over.

With the tube out of the way, he noticed something in the corner. It appeared to be a person. Deidara quickly but cautiously made his way over and knelt next to it. It was a person, or alien, with flaming red hair and pale skin. He carefully felt for a pulse, then reeled back when he felt how cold it was and how it seemed to be hard underneath the skin. He leaned forward a little to look at its face. It was almost definitely male. He listened closely, and realized it was breathing and had a heart beat. "Well... I suppose I can't simply leave you here, un..."

Deidara stood and looked around. The unconscious being was bigger than him, so he'd need to get a few supplies...

Ten minutes later, he had found a flat metal plate large enough to carry a person, and rope long enough that he could tie around his waist and to the plate. It took most of his strength to hail the alien onto the plate, and he couldn't believe what he saw when he managed it. There appeared to be blades folded up on its back, and its stomach area was replaced with a metal cable. There was a raised section where its heart should have been and that had the same weird writing on it as everything else.

Deidara sighed. "You're lucky I care so much, un..."

* * *

3:00 a.m.

Deidara jumped when the thing suddenly sat up. It stared into space and Deidara stared at it. He finally got up the nerve to speak. "Uh... You're awake then?" He jumped a little when it jerked its head to look at him. He saw now that it's eyes where the same fiery red as its hair. "Uh..." He looked around the desk and found a bag of chips. He grabbed it and slowly approached the alert alien. "H-hungry?" He held it out to him. The red head simply stared. He handed him the bag. It continued to stare at it. "Um..." Deidara took the bag from him and opened it before handing it back.

Nothing.

Deidara sighed and stuck his hand in the bag, pulling out a chip and eating it. "See? They're good, un." The red head frowned and tossed the bag on the other side of the bed. "Hey! I hafta clean that!" Deidara huffed. He went to the other side and began picking up chips. Once that was done, he threw the entire bag away.

Deidara turned back to the bed to see the alien staring at him with what seemed like a creepy sort of fascination. He groaned. He was too tired to deal with this crap. "Oh, fuck it." He silently thanked whatever deity he could think of that he had a queen sized bed. He laid down on his side of the bed and pulled the covers over his head, not even caring if the thing sitting only feet away killed him in his sleep. He greatly relaxed, however, when he felt it lie down and pull the covers up slightly. It was only minutes before he went to sleep.

* * *

The entire weekend was mostly calm. Deidara stayed in his room for the most part to make sure the alien didn't break something, and only ventured out to get food for himself since the other had yet to eat a single thing he'd offered.

Deidara sighed softly as he finally finished his essay. He really hated English sometimes. The clock read a little after eight as he carefully climbed in bed next to the alien. He vaguely wondered what he was going to do with it tomorrow since he wouldn't be here to watch it all afternoon. He shrugged it off and closed his eyes, soon slipping into blissful unawareness.

* * *

Deidara groaned as he began coming back to reality. He opened his eyes and saw wall. Good, he was still in his room. He immediately tensed when he realized something was lying against him, with its arm on his hip and something cold and metal wrapped around his waist. He tried to get away, but the arms moved to his chest and pulled him back. He couldn't scream, it would wake his parents, so he began struggling violently.

Eventually, it released him, and he fell to the floor. He quickly crawled to the other side of the room and grabbed a bat that was sitting in a corner. He stood, aiming it at the bed, when the thing sat up. It looked at him and quirked an eyebrow, as if saying, "What are you, fucking _stupid_?"

They stared at one another for several minutes, Deidara slightly shaking as he held the bat. He dropped it in fear, however, when he heard his father call his name. He quickly went to the bed and grabbed its arm, tugging it in an effort to get it out of the bed. It didn't even budge. "Come _on_, un! We can't let my dad see you!" He tugged with all his might, but the alien easily pulled its arm back to its side, bringing Deidara onto the bed on his stomach. It removed the covers and stood up, pulling Deidara with it. He stumbled a bit before standing and leading it to his closet. He quickly opened the folding doors and pushing it inside, closing them once it was in.

Not two seconds later, his father burst into the room. "Why the hell aren't you in school!?" He yelled. Deidara looked around and found a clock. 8:04 a.m. Deidara's jaw dropped. _How the hell did that happen??_ "I-I didn't mean-"

Before he could finish, his father was across the room and had slapped him hard across the face, making him fall to the floor. He tensed when he heard it growl and hoped that his father hadn't heard. He leaned against the doors, hoping that would help keep it inside. "I-I'm sorry, un. It won't happen again..."

"Damn right it won't!" His father turned and stomped out of the room. Deidara sighed in relief and crawled forward a few feet to let the alien out. He whimpered and began to cry lightly. He heard the closet door open and felt a presence sitting beside him, gently stroking his hair. He slapped the hand away and glared at the thing. "Like you care, un. You probably have no idea what's going on."

It quirked an eyebrow, making Deidara smirk. "You have no idea what I'm saying, do you? I could call you anything I want, and you'd have no idea, un. You'd just there with that stupid look on your face." Deidara snickered, "Are you lost, fire crotch?" With that, Deidara burst into laughter. He continued to laugh even as it leaned forward. "That's not funny."

Deidara yelped and fell over when it spoke in his ear. It smirked at Deidara's bewildered look. "Y-you can understand me?!?"

"Of course."

Deidara sat up and blushed. "S-sorry..." He looked at the ground.

"Hn... I'm Sasori."

"Deidara..."

"That's a nice name."

"Thanks, un."

"You'll make a good mate."

"Wha-?"

Deidara yelped when Sasori shoved him to the floor. He had to bite his lip to keep from screaming when Sasori bit down on the junction between his neck and shoulder. He dug his nails into the 'skin' on Sasori's shoulder when he felt the metal cable that was in his stomach slid inside his pants and enter him. He silently sobbed as it slid deeper and deeper. "S-stop!" He sobbed. Sasori moved one hand to massage the other side of Deidara's neck and the other hand rubbed his hip.

As quickly as it had begun, it was over. Sasori withdrew the cable and lightly kissed the wound on Deidara's neck. Deidara sobbed lightly. "W-what the hell was that?"

"You're my mate now."

"M-mate? MATE!?" Deidara attempted to sit up, but Sasori forced him back down. "The eggs haven't taken hold yet. They'll come out if you sit up."

"I'm pregnant?!"

"No, but I can get you pregnant now."

"What?!" He attempted to sit up again, but, like the first time, was pushed back down. "Don't. Move." Deidara immediately stopped all struggling. Something about the tone in Sasori's voice made him terrified.

Sasori stood and walked into Deidara's bathroom. Deidara could hear him open then close several cabinets, then it got silent.

Deidara relaxed slightly. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad? Apparently, he had a boyfriend now, and he wasn't _actually_ pregnant... yet. That could be a problem later. On the positive side, he could learn a lot about other planets and whatnot. But, did he want to be in a relationship with an alien he had met two days earlier? He had only learned that he could speak his language half a minute ago. He sighed. '_I don't really know him, true, but he can't be all that bad, right? He's pretty hot… I don't think I get a choice anyway…'_

Sasori reappeared with a wet rag and gently pressed it to the wounds on the blonde's neck. "What took you so long, un?"

"I couldn't figure out how to make your water system work."

Deidara couldn't hold back his laughter. The thought of the alien not knowing how to work the sink was simply hilarious.

Sasori leaned forward and pressed his cheek to Deidara's, a common affectionate gesture on his planet. Deidara sighed and returned the gesture.

Several minutes of comfortable and enjoyable silence later, Deidara finally worked up the nerve to speak again. "Sasori?"

"Hn?"

"What's your planet like?"

Sasori sat up and gazed down at the beautiful blonde underneath him. Indeed, Deidara was a god by his, and several other planet's, standards. He lightly caressed his cheek, and was pleased when Deidara nuzzled his hand. "My home planet is Suna. It's mostly dessert. Most of the major towns and cities are inside domes."

"What's that like, un?"

"Better than living outside in the heat. The temperature is 72 degrees all day, every day. Other than that, it's not much different."

"Cool..."

"Hn."

"Do they have war on your planet?"

Sasori chuckled slightly. "Earth is the only planet that fights within itself. The rest of us fight with other planets."

"Oh... Are there lots of other planets, un? I mean, with intelligent life on them?"

"A few hundred. Less than fifty are inhabited strictly by unintelligent life forms."

"Wow..."

"Hn."

"Sasori-Danna?" Sasori cocked his head. "Danna?"

"It means master or husband, un. It's a term we use here in Japan."

"Hn."

"Danna? Why are you here?"

"I've been sent to collect as many different life forms as possible for study."

Deidara stiffened. Sasori noticed this and gently ran his thumb over the blonde's beautiful, full lips. "Don't worry, koi, I'm not here to hurt you or your species. I meant collect the less intelligent species that are here." Deidara blushed at the affection. "Like the things on your ship, un?"

"Yeah..." Sasori's eyes widened. "Where's my ship?"

"In the woods. I can take you there. Is it okay to sit up, un?" Sasori nodded and helped the blonde to his feet.

* * *

Fear Sasori's OOCness!! MUHAHAHAHAHA!! I know it seems like I've gotten them together really quick, but Deidara's not actually "in love" with Sasori yet and Sasori's not actually "in love" with Deidara, he's just physically attracted to him. Review please?


	2. The Ship

Here it is! Chapter two! Enjoy! X3

* * *

Sasori silently cursed as he examined his hunk of a ship. He went inside and down the hallway until he found the control room. "Damn…" There was no way he could contact anyone. "Is everything ok, un?" He turned and saw Deidara standing in the entryway.

"I'm stranded."

"O-oh… Sorry…" Deidara looked at his feet. "Not your fault." Sasori walked past him and back down the hall. Deidara followed him to a door, where he punched in a code and it opened. "So that's why it didn't work before, un." Sasori chuckled and walked inside.

It was a very large room with a bed and a desk, obviously this was where Sasori had been sleeping. The red head went over to a closet and began removing clothes. "What're you doing, un?"

"Getting clothes. I can't stay in these forever." He dropped an armload on the bed and pulled a large case from underneath. He began putting clothes into said case. Deidara watched silently from the doorway, somewhat scared of the larger male since they were now on the red heads turf.

Sasori closed the case and sat it outside the door before going continuing down the hall a little way to the slightly open door… that was now ripped out of the wall. Sasori raised an eyebrow. "Did you do this?"

Deidara shook his head. "That was only open a little when I first found you, un…"

Sasori frowned. "Stay here." He went inside and inspected all the containment pods to see which ones were dead, living, and missing. So far, everything seemed to be in place and most seemed to have survived the crash, and were thankfully still in their comatose state.

He rounded a corner into the high security section and his heart nearly stopped. Three of the five pods that had contained life forms were broken and empty and the two that were still there were moving. He quickly hit the "Self Destruct" buttons of both pods. All the liquid inside was drained and replaced with poison. They were both dead in seconds.

Normally, the "Self Destruct" option was used as a last resort if you couldn't put the creatures back into a comatose state, but Sasori didn't have time to worry about insignificant things, he had a mate to worry about instead. He checked to see which ones were missing. Planets Xylem, Szchek, and Zira 6. Not good.

"Danna?" Deidara called from the hall. "Yes, koi?"

"I think one of the animals in this room is out, un." Deidara pointed to the room behind him, directly across the hall. Sasori stiffened. There were no containment tubes in that room. It was storage only. "_What_?"

"This room. There's noises, un."

"Get over here. Now."

Deidara gave him a confused look. "Why-?" The door behind him suddenly burst open. Deidara turned and came face to face with the most gruesome thing he'd ever seen. It had no eyes, and teeth longer than a ruler. (A/N: Feeling uncreative. If you've ever seen the first Resident Evil movie, think of the beast at the end. You might know him as 'The Licker.') He shrieked and began running. He made it about halfway through the room before the sudden quake of the beast jumping and landing behind him made him fall.

Deidara thought for sure he was going to die. There was a loud shriek and he felt a warm, sticky liquid hit his body. Then there was a loud thud and all went silent. He was suddenly grabbed and pulled into an embrace. He finally opened his eyes and found himself in Sasori's lap, covered in purple blood, with the beast laying decapitated a few feet away. He looked up at Sasori and noticed that his blades were unfolded. He almost looked like an angel in the strange lighting.

"We need to leave." Sasori spoke up. He stood and picked Deidara up. Deidara wrapped his legs around the alien's waist and his arms around his neck, burying his face between his arm and Sasori's neck. He felt the metal cable wrap around his waist to keep him there. They quickly went down the hall, picking up the case on the way, and exited the ship.

* * *

Deidara sighed as warm water cascaded down his naked body. He didn't notice Sasori slip in behind him until a hand caressed his hip. He jumped and whirled around. When he realized who, or what, it was, he let out a relieved sigh. "Danna, you scared me, un." Deidara smiled, then blushed madly when he realized that the alien was completely naked and in the shower with him. "W-what are you doing!? Get out!" He tried to push the other male, but Sasori didn't budge.

Several seconds of pushing and shoving found Deidara with his back against Sasori's chest, both feet against the opposite wall, and pushing with all his might. "Ugh, get out!" He grunted. The older male still did not budge. "I want to be in here with you." Sasori said simply. Deidara sighed and put both feet back on the floor before standing up. He squeaked when an arm wrapped around his waist and he was pulled against a strong chest. He struggled a bit, "We are _not_ having _sex_ in the _shower_, un!"

"Sex?" Sasori asked curiously. (A/N: No, Sasori's not ignorant. He's from a different planet so things go by different names. He's actually very intelligent.)

Deidara relaxed. "Never mind." He sighed again and leaned back slightly, somewhat enjoying the contact, even if it was with someone from another planet whom he'd just met.

Sasori lightly nuzzled the blonde's neck as he held him close. "I got you something." He whispered in Deidara's ear. Said blonde was slightly surprised to hear this. "How? We haven't gone anywhere, un."

"We went to my ship."

"Oh yeah… What'd you get me?"

"That's a surprise."

Deidara huffed. "Tell meeee!" He whined, making Sasori chuckle and kiss his temple. "You can have it after we get cleaned up."

"Okay!" Deidara quickly pulled away and grabbed some shampoo before going to work on his hair. "What are you doing?"

"I'm washing my hair, duh, un."

Sasori tilted his head slightly to watch. "Why?"

"...To clean it..." Deidara quickly rinsed. "Haven't you ever washed your hair before, un?"

"On my planet, we don't need to use water. We have special machines that clean our entire body for us."

"Cool!" Deidara smiled brightly. "I suppose you'll want me to help you then?"

Sasori shrugged. "I guess."

Ten minutes later found Deidara hopping around in excitement while Sasori dug through his case. He pulled out a long kimono-like garment that was a deep purple with various designs and markings all over it in blue. Deidara stopped his bouncing and lightly stroked the fabric. "It's so soft... Not like anything we have here, un."

"You like it then?"

"I love it!" Deidara smiled brightly. He allowed Sasori to help him put it on and stood in front of the mirror. It had a high collar and ribbons on the back that seemed to defy gravity. "It looks beautiful on you." Sasori said, his voice barely above the monotone it was usually in. "Thank you!" Deidara squealed a bit and did a few turns. "Where did you get it?"

"It was my mother's."

"Was she nice?"

"I don't know. She's dead."

"Oh..." Deidara stopped and gave Sasori an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, un."

"Not your fault." Sasori wrapped his arms around the younger boy gently and pressed their cheeks together. Deidara sighed softly. "Danna? Do people on you planet kiss?" He felt Sasori shrug. "I don't know. Depends on what that is."

Deidara pulled away a bit and cupped Sasori's face before pulling him down and pressing their lips together. Sasori almost instantly returned the kiss, somewhat enjoying the new contact. He pressed deeper and smiled slightly when Deidara gave a little moan.

They broke apart for air a few seconds later. "No, we don't have that on my planet."

"That sucks, un."

* * *

"What are you doing up so early?" Sasori inquired as he watched Deidara brush his hair. "I have school."

"…What?"

"It's where people who are over five and under eighteen go to learn, un."

"Oh… We have a machine for that."

"Lucky." Deidara sat the brush down and examined himself in the mirror. Everything seemed to be in place. He slipped past Sasori and grabbed his backpack. "Be good while I'm gone, okay? Don't leave this room." He pecked Sasori on the cheek and went to leave, but the red head grabbed his arm. "You can't leave. Those beasts are still running loose somewhere."

Deidara smiled. "They got out like three days ago, un. We haven't heard anything, so they must be miles away by now." He tried to pull away again, but was held in place. "How do you know?"

Deidara sighed. "Come on, un. It'll be fine. If I don't go, I'll get in trouble. Please let go?" Sasori hesitated before releasing the blonde. Deidara smiled reassuringly and allowed Sasori to give him a gentle kiss before heading out.

* * *

Deidara's jaw dropped when Sasori burst into the room. He had blood on his face and hands, but Deidara silently thanked the stars that he was wearing a cloak that concealed his strange body, giving him a human appearance.

Sasori quickly went up to Deidara and stopped next to his desk. In the same, somewhat creepy monotone voice he used so often, he said, "I _may_ have killed the little noisy thing in your backyard."

Deidara stood suddenly and got in Sasori's face. "You killed my dog?!" He yelled. Sasori shrugged. "It was making noise." Deidara stared unbelieving at the indifferent red head, unsure what to do or say.

"Hey Deidara," Sakura spoke up, "is that your _boy~friend_?"

Sasori frowned. "Yes, I am." He said simply. The entire class gasped. Deidara, however, hardly heard any of this. "You _killed _my _dog_?!" He gained Sasori's attention again. "I don't _know_. Can this _dog_ survive being turned inside-out?"

Deidara wanted to scream, cry, or kick the red head, but he could only stare open-mouthed. He snapped out of his daze when the teacher reminded him that class was going on and they were interrupting. He quickly grabbed the red heads sleeve and dragged him out of the room.

* * *

They stayed in relative silence as Deidara stared down at the small rock pyramid that marked his dogs grave. He said a silent prayer for Scruffles as he willed himself not to cry.

"Sorry." Sasori finally spoke up.

"Don't talk to me."

"I didn't mean to kill it."

"Shut up."

"I'm sorry."

"Shut up!" Deidara spun around and gave a nasty glare. "Fucking bastard! You turn my dog inside-out and you call it an accident!? How fucking dare you!" Sasori barely flinched when Deidara slapped him across the face. Tears finally began slipping down Deidara's face as he angrily stormed back inside.

* * *

Deidara sobbed quietly into his pillow as Sasori gently rubbed his back. He had long since given up trying to get the alien to leave him be. His sobs slowly died down until he was nearly asleep, the closeness of the other being of slight comfort. "…Deidara?" Sasori whispered gently. "Hm…"

"… I didn't kill your dog."

Deidara's eyes snapped open and he sat up quickly. "_What_?"

"I didn't kill your dog. Some other male life forms did."

"Who, un?! Why didn't you tell me!" Deidara practically yelled.

"A dark haired male and a blue colored male. I figured you could take it better thinking I did it rather than another of your own species."

Though he wasn't sure why, Deidara found himself somewhat relieved. Itachi and Kisame had done it, not Sasori, not his mate, not the male he was afraid he was slowly falling for. "How did they…?" He couldn't bring himself to complete the sentence. "I did that. They just cut it open and pulled out organs." Deidara found himself slightly sickened. So Sasori had turned it inside out… "Why?"

"I don't think I should tell you."

"… Please…?"

"It was still alive… So I had to kill it. It was suffering and wouldn't have survived much longer anyway. It was the quickest thing I could think to do."

Deidara gagged slightly and covered his mouth with his hand. Sasori gently ran his hand up and down the blonde's back.

They sat in silence until Deidara finally realized how tired he was and laid down. Sasori carefully laid down next to him and pulled the blonde against him. Deidara was asleep in seconds, leaving Sasori to simply watch him until he, too, fell asleep.

* * *

Yeah... I didn't care all that much for this chapter. Review please?


	3. Sex For Pleasure? That's Stupid

Chapter three! Yay! I wanna thank everyone for the lovely reviews! Those are what keep me writing! X3

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or these characters!

* * *

Deidara stared silently at his wall. He knew he needed to get up and go to school, but he also knew that he was going to be severally bullied today thanks to Sasori's little confession yesterday. Also, he _really_ wasn't looking forward to seeing Itachi and Kisame. He sighed, making up his mind, and slowly climbed out of bed.

The movement woke Sasori, who sat up. "What are you doing?"

"I have school, remember, un?"

Sasori got out of bed and followed the blonde into the bathroom. Deidara pulled off his sleeveless top and was about to remove his boxers when he realized Sasori was watching him. "Uh, can you leave?"

"Why?"

"… 'Cause…" Deidara fiddled with the hem of his boxers, blushing slightly. Sasori smirked as he went over and swiftly yanked down the boy's boxers. Deidara yelped and blushed madly, making Sasori chuckle. "That's not funny, un!"

"What's wrong? I've seen you naked before." Sasori whispered huskily, "Plus, we're "boyfriends" anyway."

"Yeah, yeah…" Deidara pulled himself away from the red head and stepped into the shower, Sasori striping and following.

Once they were both in, Sasori put his hand on Deidara's hip. The blonde sighed. "Why can't I take showers alone anymore, un?"

"Because this is what mate's do."

"Mn." Deidara frowned a little, wondering if Sasori _actually_ liked him, or if he was just in need of a mate and Deidara had happened to be close by. Sasori's monotone voice and uncaring attitude made the latter seem more likely.

"Can I walk you to school?" Sasori's voice interrupted his thoughts. "Yeah, I guess." Deidara sighed, when another thought struck him. "Danna? How were you able to find me yesterday?"

"Since you're my mate, I can track you within a ten mile radius." He said simply. "Oh."

* * *

They walked quietly side by side down the street. Deidara felt dread built more and more inside him as they came closer to the school. Sasori sensed this and grabbed his hand, entwining their fingers. The action surprised Deidara, but he smiled all the same. He blushed slightly. Maybe he could learn to love the red head, even if he was quite strange.

* * *

Deidara walked nervously through the halls, wishing he hadn't sent Sasori back home so he'd have someone to comfort him. He did his best to ignore the hisses of "fag", "queer", "homo", and "fudge-packer", but he still found tears stinging at his eyes. He ran to class as fast as he could and, once there, sat in the very back and watched the birds out the window.

* * *

Sasori yanked a few wires and replaced them with newer ones from the storage room. He _really_ needed to get in contact with _someone_. There's not way he could live on this planet for the rest of his life, he was only 50, so he had another good 300 or so years. Plus, he needed to get Deidara to his planet so they could lengthen his life span, since humans rarely even lived to be 100.

A sudden static like noise made him jump slightly. He looked up at the large screen and saw very blurry and distorted images appear. He quickly began messing with the tuning and other buttons, trying to find a good signal. Eventually, the image became clearer and he could see Pein and hear his voice. "Sasori?"

"I'm here."

"Finally! We've been trying to contact you for three days! Where the hell are you?"

"I crash landed on Earth. I'm stuck here, I'm afraid."

"Wow, that sucks. I heard Earth is a real hell hole."

"It's not that bad, actually."

"Right, right… So, I suppose you want someone to come get you, correct?"

"That would be nice."

"Sure thing. They'll be there in about a month."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. How have you and the contained life forms been holding up?"

"I'm fine and have a mate now."

"Sweet! It's about time you got laid."

Sasori frowned slightly, quite annoyed at that comment. "Whatever. Half the life forms didn't survive the crash, and two of the most dangerous ones are running wild somewhere. I have to find and kill them before I can leave."

"Well, aren't _you_ the responsible one?" Pein said sarcastically.

"Of course. I have a mate to look out for, after all."

"Indeed. So, male or female?"

"Male." Sasori said confidently. If he had been asked that question days earlier, he wouldn't have been sure, but since he'd been in the shower with the blonde more than once, he was now positive of Deidara's gender.

"Nice. Is he good looking?"

"Very."

Pein smirked. "I'm glad you stopped being such a conceded jack ass and finally claimed someone. Good luck. I'll send that ship out for you, bye."

"Good bye."

With that, the image disappeared and Sasori was left to himself.

* * *

Deidara and Itachi glared at one another. They and Kisame were standing in an empty hallway after school. Deidara had confronted them about his dog, and now they were at a stand off. "_Why_ did you _kill_ my _dog_?!" Deidara snapped. "You don't know it was us." Itachi answered. "Yes I do!"

"How?"

"That's none of your business, un! Why did you kill me dog?!"

Itachi smirked. "That's what you get for ratting us out."

Deidara was stunned. "W-what?"

"Don't you remember?" Kisame spoke up, "Three months ago, you told on us for smoking behind them gym."

Deidara's legs suddenly felt weak and he could hardly breathe. They had murdered his dog, just because he had told on them for smoking. He turned and ran as fast as he could home, tears stinging his eyes the whole way.

* * *

Sasori was quite surprised when Deidara suddenly burst into the room and tackled him. He landed on his butt with Deidara sobbing into his chest. "Dei? What's wrong?"

"They killed Scruffles just because I told on theeem!" Deidara sobbed. Sasori said nothing, instead deciding to pull Deidara close and comfort him as best he could.

* * *

Deidara grumbled and tried to shake off whatever was pushing him. "Mmmmnnn…! Five more minutes…" He tugged the covers over his head. Sasori frowned before nudging the blonde again. "Oi, wake up."

"Nnn!"

"Up."

"Nnn... What do you want?"

"It's been a week since I claimed you as my mate."

Deidara sighed and pulled the covers down enough to look at Sasori. "Happy anniversary. Now leave me alone, un, I want more sleep before school." Sasori smirked and pecked Deidara's lips. "It's been a week. We have to mate now."

"WHAT?!?" Deidara sat up, knocking his head with Sasori's. "Ow!" He rubbed his forehead. "I'm not mating with you! I'm only 15!"

"So?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"It's tradition." Sasori frowned. "We have to mate so we can pass on our genes."

"No shit Sherlock, but I'm not doing that with you! I don't care what your planet's traditions are, here on Earth you're not supposed to have sex with someone under 18!"

"Why not?"

"I don't know! Because it's the law!"

Sasori growled a little and pushed Deidara back on the bed, getting on all fours above him. "We _need_ to _mate_." He said sternly. Deidara began to panic. "W-wait! Stop! Please! I'm a virgin, it'll hurt!" He began pushing against Sasori's chest.

"Not if I'm gentle."

"Please…" Deidara begged as tears began to sting his eyes and slip down his cheeks. Sasori sighed. "Why not?"

"I'm so scared… I'm not ready for this yet…"

"When will you be ready?"

"I… I don't know… Not anytime soon…" He whimpered. Sasori sighed again. "Fine, but what the hell am I supposed to do until then? I already have an erection." Deidara blushed brightly. "Um, won't it eventually go away?"

"Not until I mate."

"Well, can't you go… you know… jack off?" Deidara whispered the last part. Sasori cocked an eyebrow. "What's that?"

"What do you mean 'what's that?' Don't people on your planet ever have sex for pleasure?"

"No. Just to pass genes."

"Well, that explains why you're such a hard ass…" Deidara mumbled. An idea stuck him. "Want me to give you a blowjob, un?"

"I don't know what that is." Sasori stated like it was the most obvious thing in the universe. "U-um…" Deidara's blush deepened. "Here, um, sit." He pushed on Sasori's chest. Sasori took the hint and got off the blonde, moving to sit comfortably on the bed next to him.

Deidara rolled over on all fours and began unbuttoning the red heads pants. After pulling them down a bit and releasing his member, Deidara was quite surprised to see that it was the same as a human's. He vaguely wondered, however, is Sasori's size was normal for his species, since it was rather large for a human's.

Sasori quirked an eyebrow at Deidara's slightly frightened face. As the blonde began to lean forward, Sasori put his hand on top of the blonde's head, stopping him. "What are you doing?"

Deidara's blush increased. "I'm… giving you a blowjob…"

"With your mouth?"

"That's how it's done…"

Sasori frowned. "That's a waste of semen."

It was Deidara's turn to frown. "What? You gonna run out or something?" He said snidely. Sasori made an annoyed noise and sat his hand back on the bed. Deidara smirked triumphantly and continued. He lightly licked the tip before taking it in his mouth and stroking the base with his hand. He sucked lightly and began bobbing up and down, taking in a little more each time.

He was a little more than halfway down when Sasori suddenly forced his head down as far as it would go, making Deidara choke and gag. He grabbed the red heads knee tightly and Sasori let go. He immediately sat up and began coughing. "What _*cough*_ the hell is wrong _*cough* _with you?!" Deidara snapped, giving Sasori a dirty glare, who simply gave a small apologetic smile in return.

Once he could breathe again, Deidara went back to work. He growled slightly, still peeved, and raked his teeth along Sasori's cock, making the older male hiss and growl. Deidara decided that would work in terms of pay back, and allowed his thoughts to drift slightly. He began thinking back to all those horror movies he'd seen in which someone gets rapped by an alien.

Not smart.

Deidara started to worry. '_What if Sasori is one of those aliens that take forever to come? What if he has to come multiple times before he's satisfied? What if he only comes once, but it's so much I drown? What if it's acidic and I die?' _

He whimpered when Sasori groaned and pushed his head down slightly again. A new taste entered his mouth that gagged him a bit. He got over it quickly and swallowed every bit before sitting up and licking his lips. _'… That wasn't so bad…'_

He couldn't help but smile a little, and was lightly surprised when Sasori gently pressed their lips together. He kissed back happily.

When they parted, Sasori smirked. "We should do that again sometime." He lightly stroked Deidara's cheek. The blonde smiled, nodded, and nuzzled Sasori's hand, his previous anger completely forgotten.

* * *

Next chapter is more action-y, I promise! Review please!


	4. Beauty and The Beast

Phear the soon-to-be action-y-ness!!

… That makes perfect sense, don't argue.

For those who didn't get the note:

I want to make another story after I finish this, that's similar to this one, but with Deidara as the alien and Sasori as the human. Don't worry, Deidara will still be uke. Let me know what you think if this.

If I ever submit a story in which Deidara's the seme, then three possible things have occurred:

1. Alien mind control.

2. IT'S NOT ME!!!

3. I got paid big money to do so.

I'll let you know if it's the third one. :)

Disclaimer: I no own!

* * *

_One week later, two and a half weeks until pick up._

Sasori mindlessly flipped through the channels on Deidara's TV. He was in the living room, but knew that no one was home, so he was safe. He couldn't read anything, Earth's written language was far different than his, but scrolled anyway, hoping to find something mildly interesting. He flipped to a channel that was completely blank, save for some writing at the bottom.

_To watch this program, you must purchase._

What the hell did that mean? He hit a few random buttons until something popped up.

_Purchase for $49.95?_

_Yes No_

He raised an eyebrow. Earth's numbers were much like his planets, but he had a feeling the values were probably different. He pressed '_Yes'_ since the letters were more appealing to him and jumped slightly when the program suddenly worked. That probably wasn't good…

He stared, confused, at the TV for several seconds, not really comprehending _why_ there were naked humans all over each other. It clicked, however, when he saw a female put her mouth on a male's penis, much like what Deidara had done. "This must be what Deidara calls 'sex for pleasure'." He sat the remote down, figuring he might as well watch since he was pretty sure he'd bought it. After all, this was more like an educational program to him than anything.

* * *

Deidara yelped as he was pushed to the ground. He looked up at Suigetsu and gave his best glare. Suigetsu and his crew, Juugo and Sasuke, laughed at this. Deidara moved his glare to the ground. As their laughter died down he noticed something. It was unusually quiet. No chirping of birds, no scurrying of squirrels, nothing. He looked toward the forest that was behind the school and found he didn't see anything living either.

He stood and began cautiously walking toward the forest. The three other boys took notice. "Where the hell are _you _going?" Suigetsu snapped.

"Can't you hear that?"

They paused to listen.

"Hear what?" Sasuke asked. "I don't hear anything." Juugo added.

"Exactly. Where is the wildlife?"

Deidara stopped a few feet from the fence in horror. He slowly began backing up, never breaking eye contact with the two glowing red orbs. "We need to get back to the cafeteria."

"Why?"

The eyes seemed to move forward. "Now!" Deidara yelled as he turned and ran. The three gave each other confused looks, until a large beast with a long, teeth filled muzzle, red eyes, and gigantic claws rammed and gnawed on the barred fence. They yelled and ran toward the cafeteria just before it burst through the fence.

* * *

Sasori was now half asleep, the only thing keeping him awake were the female's constant cries of "Oh God!" This 'God' person must have been very good at… what ever the hell he was doing there. Was that natural? Probably not.

* * *

Panicked students filled inside the cafeteria. Suigetsu and Juugo slammed the doors and Deidara and Sasuke began slipping broom and mop handles into the door loops. Sure, it wouldn't actually do much since the doors opened to the outside and the beast lacked thumbs, but it definitely made them feel a little better.

Everyone took a few steps back, and then jumped when there was pounding on the door. The beast was throwing his whole body weight into the door, denting it a little at a time.

* * *

A sinking feeling made its way into the pit of Sasori's 'stomach'. He tried to shake it off, thinking nothing of it, but it wouldn't go away. He frowned. What the hell could it be about? He thought it over a while and shrugged. He stood up and decided to go check on Deidara.

* * *

"What the hell is that?!" Suigetsu yelled while glaring at Deidara and pointing at the door. Deidara glared right back. "You think _I_ know!?"

"Of _course_ you know! You're freaky boyfriend probably conjured it up!"

"Bullshit!"

Another loud bang made everyone jump. The door dented in further and the small glass window's shattered. They could hear it panting and growling loudly as it prepared itself for another strike. "We're gonna fucking die!" Suigetsu yelled.

"Your yelling isn't helping, un!"

"Well, what the hell else are we supposed to do!?"

"Stop yelling! I'm trying to think and you're giving me a headache!"

"Are you sure your not giving _yourself_ a headache, blondie!?"

Deidara growled and kicked Suigetsu in the knee. "Ow!" He grabbed his knee and began hopping. Deidara would have found this comical, but since they were in a life or death situation, hardly paid it any attention as he racked his brain for an idea.

Suigetsu regained himself, and was about to hit the blonde back, when the ripping of something off the building was heard, followed by the beast screaming in apparent pain, and then everything went quiet.

Suddenly, the doors were ripped off there hinges and thrown a few feet away. Sasori stepped into the room and looked around, bored, yet curious, look on his face. "Deidara?"

Said blonde sighed in relief and rushed to the red head, hugging his torso tightly. "Danna!" Sasori gently wrapped his arms around Deidara's waist. Their moment was ruined, however, by Suigetsu's voice. "What the fuck was that?! I _knew_ he wasn't normal!"

Deidara 'humph'ed. "C'mon, Danna, lets go." He grabbed Sasori's sleeve and began to pull him away, but Suigetsu roughly grabbed his arm and tugged him back. "Don't you walk away from me!"

Sasori growled and the blades on his back burst open, tearing his cloak apart. Suigetsu immediately let go and took a few steps back. "Don't. _Touch_." Sasori growled. A scorpion-like tail came out of his lower back and busted up the concrete at Suigestu's feet. This made the blue-haired male fall back with a terrified look on his face. "You're lucky I don't _kill_ you." Sasori snapped. He pulled Deidara against him and walked out, grabbing the body on the way, and headed toward his ship.

* * *

Deidara sighed softly as he curled against Sasori in his floor. He nuzzled the red head's chest and Sasori tightened his one-arm grip. They had dropped off the body on Sasori's ship for proper disposal.

"Are you angry?" Sasori asked, breaking the silence. "… No. I don't care if they know. Maybe they'll leave me alone now."

Sasori gave a grunt as a reply and they lapsed back into silence…

…Only to have it broken minutes later by someone stomping up the stairs. "Deidara?! Why the _hell_ did the school just call about _aliens_?!?" Deidara stiffened and whimpered.

Sasori growled and sat up. He stood and picked Deidara up and carried him into the bathroom. "Danna? What're you doing, un?"

He gently sat the blonde in the bathtub. "Danna?" Deidara jumped when Sasori was suddenly gone and the door was slammed shut. "Danna?!" He ran to the door and tried to open it, but something was blocking it. "Danna! Please don't!"

"Who the fuck're you?!" He heard his father yell. "Sasori! Please!" He banged on the door, but it didn't budge. There were several loud noises and yells from his father. He slid to the floor and cried silently, his back and head against the door. "Please, please, please…" He mumbled to himself. Sure, he didn't like his father and the man treated him like shit, but he didn't want him to _die_. Plus, if he was dead, he would have to live in an orphanage or foster home.

The yells became muffled and eventually stopped. Deidara whimpered, fearing the worst, when the door suddenly left his back. Without the support, Deidara fell backward with a slight 'oof!' then let out an annoyed noise. He opened his eyes to find Sasori staring down at him, one eyebrow quirked. He quickly rolled over onto his hands and knees and scanned the room frantically, finally finding his father hunched over in a corner. "Dad?!" He scrambled over to the unconscious man and began shaking him. "Dad?! _Dad_?!?"

"Relax." Sasori spoke up behind him in a monotone voice, "He's not dead."

Deidara let out a sigh of relief. Without warning, he was picked up and easily tossed onto the bed. "Oof!" He quickly sat up and glared at the offender. Sasori just smirked as he picked up Koragu and began to leave. "Hey! What are you doing with dad, un?!?"

"I need bait."

Panic shooting up his spine, Deidara jumped off the bed and grabbed Sasori's arm. "No way! Why?!"

The grip on his arm only stopped Sasori long enough to reply, "There's one more on the loose, we need to catch it." Before he continued to walk toward the door. Deidara moved his hand to grip the base of one of Sasori blade 'wings' and tug with all his strength, successfully stopping the red head a second time. "Stop! He might be an ass, but he's still my father! You can't use him as bait, un! Let go of him!"

Sasori let out an annoyed sigh and dropped the blonde man, allowing him to fall with a loud 'thud!' to the floor. "Great. So what am I supposed to use now?"

"I don't know! Go kill a goat or something!" Deidara knelt beside hi father and checked him over for head injuries. "A what?"

"Ugh! Never mind! Pick him up and take him to his bed, un."

"Didn't you just tell me to-?" Sasori became quiet when Deidara gave him the nastiest look he'd ever seen from the blonde. With another sigh, he picked Koragu back up and headed toward his bedroom.

* * *

"That is probably the ugliest thing I've ever seen."

_Smack!_

"Goats are cute, un!"

Sasori made an annoyed noise and lightly rubbed his arm where Deidara had hit him. Said blonde 'humph'ed and went back to petting the goat and giving it oats. The animal made an appreciative noise. "Aww! How cute!"

"That was the worst mating call I've ever heard."

"It wasn't a mating call!"

"Then _why_ is it making noise?"

"… You're hopeless." Deidara sighed.

Sasori gave him an annoyed look, "If you were stranded on my planet, you would be confused too."

Deidara couldn't help but chuckle. He stood and lightly nuzzled Sasori's arm. "I take it I'm forgiven then?" Sasori asked, receiving a nod in reply. "Good." He quickly reached down and grabbed one of the animal's horns, picking it up somewhat. The goat began to panic, struggle, and made distressed noises. "What the hell's wrong with you?!" Deidara slapped the red heads hand, making him release the animal, which quickly ran off. "You can't just grab one like that! Not while other people are around!" Deidara hissed.

Sasori glanced around, taking note that several people were not staring, mothers were pulling their children away, and the owner of the petting zoo was giving them a dirty look. He growled slightly, "Fine. When _can_ I take one then?"

"Never. I've decided goats are too cute to be used as bait, un." With that, he grabbed the red heads arm and began dragging him off.

* * *

Everything mellowed out over the next week. Koragu didn't yell at Deidara anymore (it seemed like every time it even crossed his mind, Sasori would get agitated), Sasori stayed with Deidara all day in school (only one teacher complained, and he broke her desk into two pieces), and so far, they hadn't seen the last alien (though there had been some strange killings and disappearances reported, but nothing could be proven yet). Over all, everything seemed to be going pretty well.

His first day at school, Sasori had broken Suigestu's arm. That was the senior's fault though; he got in Deidara's face for coming back. People avoided them for the most part, but Deidara still had a few friends, and they took a liking to Sasori as well. Gaara, Sai, Lee, and Naruto still hung out with him. Sasori didn't like Sai, however, because he was just a little _too_ nice to Deidara. He didn't care all that much for Naruto or Lee either, since they seemed to like to play twenty _thousand_ questions. He liked them better than Sai though. He liked Gaara the most, since he stayed quiet 90 percent of the time.

Sakura and Ino also liked to hang around, but no one really wanted them there. They just wanted to hang out with Sasori, after all.

* * *

"I hate math…" Deidara grumbled as he took a seat, Sasori slipping to the seat next to him. "I'd offer to help, but I can't understand your numbering system." Sasori offered, making the blonde smile slightly. "Thanks anyway, un."

Kisame ran into the room screaming, "Sub! Sub! We have a freaking sub!" He stopped at Sasori's desk. "Dude! You should totally use your alien mind powers on him!"

Sasori gave him the 'are you fucking stupid?' look. "You mean telepathy?"

"Yeah!"

"I don't _have_ telepathy, dipshit. Now I suggest you get out of _my _face before I break _yours_."

Kisame gulped and took a few steps back before quickly going to his desk.

Sure enough, not two minutes later an older man walked in. "I'm your sub, Mr. Yagami." He announced loudly while writing it on the board.

"Did you know your name spelt backwards is 'I'm a gay'?" Kisame spoke up without thinking and quickly shut his mouth. The substitute turned sharply, "Who said that?!"

It's hard to figure out which student has made fun of you when the whole class is laughing.

"That's not funny! Do you want me to right every one of you up?!" The laughter slowly died down until it was quiet. Satisfied, Mr. Yagami began passing out worksheets.

Sasori hardly paid attention, the numbers looked like gibberish to him anyway, and instead watched Deidara work. Had he made the right choice in claiming Deidara has his? After all, his people mated for life. He shook his head slightly, ridding himself of the negative thoughts. Of course he'd chosen correctly! Deidara was beautiful, and that's the main thing to look for in a mate.

He was pulled from his thoughts when Deidara spoke and raised his hand briefly before continuing his work. The red head looked forward and realized the sub was taking role. He somewhat hoped the sub wouldn't notice that he wasn't on the role call list since he wasn't actually a student, they just let him stay because they were cared of him. He frowned slightly, there's no way he'd notice. He flipped his worksheet over onto the blank side and began doodling, trying to pass the time.

After a few minutes, he became aware of a presence looming over him. He looked up to find the sub glaring down at him. "It seems we have an artist in our midst." He said snidely. "Why, yes. Thank you for noticing." Sasori replied, just as snide and with a smirk on his face. He felt something kick his desk and glanced over to find Deidara giving him a 'don't-you-dare' look.

While he wasn't paying attention, the sub had grabbed his paper and was now examining it. "What's all this?" He asked of the many doodles of gruesome alien creatures. "I think you're disturbed." He slammed the paper back down on Sasori's desk. "Now get to work or I'll write you up." He turned and walked back to his desk. Halfway back, however, Sasori loosened the cable from his torso and let it slip along the floor. It wrapped around one of Mr. Yagami's ankles and tugged, making the man fall.

* * *

After screwing with the sub for well over forty minutes, class finally let out. Sasori and Deidara made their way down the hall to the blonde's locker then to his next class.

"I can't believe you, un."

"What? He started it."

Deidara sighed, "Yeah, but you didn't have to keep messing with him."

"Sakon told me to."

"Figures…" Deidara grumbled.

"Sasori!" Kiba came running up. "That was fucking awesome man! High five!" He held his hand up, and Sasori gave him a blank look. Deidara sighed again. "Like this." He and Kiba slapped hands. Sasori grunted and held his hand up, allowing Kiba to give him a high five. "See ya dude." The dog lover took off with a wave. Deidara politely returned it before gripping Sasori's sleeve and dragging him to the next class; Biology II.

Upon entering the room, Deidara was unpleasantly surprised to find that they would be dissecting frogs. The class was split into groups of two, except for Sasori since he wasn't a student. Sakura decided to work with Deidara (for obvious reasons) which displeased the easily annoyed alien.

Unfortunately, however, she was a bit too squeamish, so Sasori ended up doing the dissecting while Deidara filled out the worksheet that went with it and she stood to the side looking sick. In other words, useless as always.

"So gross…" Sakura groaned. "Some people eat these, ya know." Deidara smirked at Sakura's sickened face. Sasori smirked as well, deciding that when they were through, he was going to throw the little green creature at the annoying girl.

Fifteen minutes later, he did and she went shrieking at the door with the thing stuck to her shirt.

* * *

Yay for da boringness! X3 The last half was mostly just filler I suppose. The next chapter might be the last, I'm not positive yet. There was some stuff I wanted to add, but I can't remember what it was…

Review Please!


	5. Happily Ever After?

Next chappie! Yaaays! X3 Also the last chapter!

LEMON TYMEH!!!!

**I have posted on my deviant art account a drawing of the kimono mentioned in the beginning and a drawing of the beast in this chapter.**

**To get there:**

Go to my profile here, there is a link to my DA account near the top. Click that, and then go to my gallery on DA.

Neither of the drawings are great, but at least you get an idea of what they look like.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!

* * *

_Half a week until pick up._

"Deidara? Why do I have a bill for fifty dollars for 'Big Cocks, Little Cunts'?"

Deidara blushed madly at his father's incriminating look. "It wasn't me! I swear! You know I'm gay!"

"Then _who_ did?"

Deidara was speechless. Thankfully, Sasori climbed through the window. "Danna!" Deidara leaped off the bed and into the red heads arms. "Sasori, did you buy 'Big Cocks, Little Cunts' for fifty bucks?" Kogaru asked. Sasori quirked an eyebrow. "I don't know. I'm pretty sure I bought something the other day an accident though."

"Alright." He silently cursed to himself at the wasted money as he left the two boys to themselves.

Sasori laid down on the bed with Deidara curled up against him while he lightly stroked the blonde's hair. "Deidara?"

"Hm?"

"I'll be leaving soon."

Deidara quickly sat up. "What?! Why?! When!?"

"I can't stay here forever, koi. I'll be leaving in about four days."

Deidara whimpered and buried his head in the crook of Sasori's neck. "I don't want you to go…"

"You could come with me…"

Deidara hesitated before shaking his head. "I can't… I'm too scared. I can't leave here…"

Disappointment hit Sasori like a ton of bricks, but he didn't let it show. "We should mate then."

Deidara gave a humorless laugh and sat up enough to look at Sasori with watery eyes. "What's up with you and mating, un?"

Sasori gently, almost lovingly, rubbed the blonde's cheek. "We have to mate before I leave, I need to pass on my genes."

"Can't you just mate with someone else later?"

"No. You're my mate. It's highly looked down upon to have more than one mate in your lifetime."

Deidara suddenly felt guilty having denied the alien his virginity for so long. "Can… Can I have sometime to think about it, un?"

"Of course." Sasori pulled the blonde down for a kiss, which was eagerly returned. When they parted, Deidara buried his face back into the crook of Sasori's neck while the red head gently stroked his hair.

* * *

Two hours later, Sasori thought Deidara to be asleep. They hadn't moved much, only to get into more comfortable positions. He sighed lightly and kissed the blonde's temple. "I think I love you." He whispered into the blonde's hair. He was unpleasantly surprised when the blonde stiffened and sat up slightly to look at him. "R-really?"

Sasori was too stunned for words, so he simply nodded. Deidara smiled. "I think I love you too." He nuzzled Sasori's chest and sighed contently as the red head gently ran his hands along his back. "… I think I'm ready." Sasori barely heard the soft words that came from the blonde's mouth. "… Are you sure?" He felt the boy nod into his chest.

Deidara made 'eep'ed when he was suddenly on his back with Sasori looming over him. "Please be gentle…" Deidara whimpered in a panicked voice. "I will, koi." Sasori whispered against the blonde's ear, sending a shiver down the boy's spine. He let out a shaky gasp as the red head began kissing behind his ear and down to the base of his neck. Deidara trembled slightly and began panting.

Sasori rid the blonde of his shirt and kissed his chest. They didn't do things like this on his planet, but he saw it on that show, so he figured the blonde would probably like it. Sure enough, the uke mewled when Sasori lightly bit down on a nipple. Thin fingers buried themselves in blood red hair as a pale body arched into a pleasurable touch. "Danna…" Deidara breathed when Sasori moved to play with the other nipple.

Sasori moved up to give the boy a passionate kiss while he removed said boy's pants. When they parted, he kissed his chin, then down his neck and torso. Deidara stiffened, however, when Sasori kissed just above the rim of his boxers. He whimpered and gripped the red heads shoulders. Said red head noticed his mate's distress and moved back up to gently kiss his cheek. "It's okay, you don't need to be scared…" Deidara shakily nodded and wrapped his arms around the seme's neck. Sasori placed loving kisses around Deidara's neck and cheek as he slid the blonde's boxers off.

Deidara let out a little moan when Sasori grabbed his member and began lightly stroking it. Sasori gently pressed his forehead to the blondes and watched his face as he stroked him. "Ah… Danna…" Deidara gasped lightly as Sasori gently squeezed him. He moved his arms down from Sasori's neck to the back of his shoulders.

As he watched the blonde, Sasori realized that since it was their first time, something better than saliva would be needed as lube if Deidara was going to enjoy it in any way. "Babe, do you have any lubricant?"

Barely understanding the words, Deidara shook his head. "Dad might…" He gasped slightly. Sasori nodded and gave the blonde a gentle kiss before getting up, making Deidara whine. "Where are you going?"

"Lube."

He heard Deidara whine and huff as he walked out of the room and toward Kogaru's.

The blonde man was sitting in his room, reading when Sasori came in. "Lube. Where is it?"

Kogaru gave him a strange look. "What?"

"Lube. Now."

"What?! Fuck no!" He yelled, disgusted, when it finally clicked what the lube would be used for. Sasori growled and the blades on his back released themselves. Koragu yelped and jumped off the bed. He rummaged through a drawer and pulled out a bottle. "Here, take it!" He held it out and Sasori snatched it from his hand, blades folding up again.

Sasori walked back into the room to find Deidara sitting up and pouting slightly. He shut and locked the door before climbing onto the bed and pushing Deidara back. They kissed heatedly. Sasori sat up and looked the blonde over, smirking. "I see you're a natural blonde." Deidara finally became painfully aware of how naked he was and blushed hotly, making Sasori chuckle. He pouted and closed his legs, blocked the view of his lower region. "It's not fair that _I'm_ the only one naked."

Sasori couldn't help but roll his eyes, smirk still in place, and quickly remove his clothing. "There. Better?" Deidara smiled and nodded, relaxing his legs.

Sasori moved the blonde's legs apart before applying a good amount of lube to his fingers. He moved one hand to gently rub the uke's hip while he gently inserted a finger. Deidara stiffened and let out a pained noise, face contorting in obvious pain. "Just relax, love." Sasori said comfortingly, rubbing Deidara's hip. "E-easier said then done…" Deidara grunted.

Roughly a minute later, when Deidara seemed to be relaxed, Sasori added a second finger. Deidara gasped and stiffened again. Sasori gently kissed his face and lips, trying to offer comfort before slipping a third finger in. "Ah! Slow down…!" Deidara whimpered and bit his lip. "Sorry." Sasori whispered and kissed him again.

Deidara didn't much care for the pain that had acquainted itself with his ass. He grunted in discomfort. This is what people looked forward to when they got a boyfriend or girlfriend? Deidara could live without it, thank you very much.

That's what he thought, at least, until Sasori hit something that made his vision turn white and sent what felt like electricity up his spine.

Sasori smirked at Deidara sudden, loud moan. He removed his fingers, making the blonde whine, and began applying lube to his cock. Once that was finished, he wiped his hand on the blanket and gently took hold of Deidara's hips. "Please be gentle…" Deidara repeated as he gazed nervously at Sasori's rather large member. "I will, love." The red head assured. He barely got in past the tip when Deidara suddenly yelped and demanded he stop.

They didn't move for a few minutes. Deidara finally gave the go ahead and Sasori moved in a little further. "Augh!" Deidara yelped. Sasori immediately stopped to let the blonde adjust. "Move." He whimpered after only a few seconds. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, just move." Sasori nodded and continued until he was completely inside the blonde. He lightly kissed away the tears that began to flow down Deidara's face. "Shh… Just relax babe, it'll get better." Deidara whimpered in response and gripped Sasori's shoulders tightly.

Minutes later Deidara bucked his hips lightly. "Move."

Sasori complied, slowly moving out and back in, watching the blonde's face for signs of severe pain. He moved a little faster when there didn't seem to be any. "Faster… Harder… _Go_." Deidara moaned and arched his back as Sasori complied.

The blonde gasps and bucked when Sasori grabbed his member and began stroking him in time with his thrusts. "Ah! Right there!" Deidara suddenly yelled. Sasori continued to aim for that same spot.

Moments later, Deidara was pushed over the edge. Sasori crushed their mouths together to muffle the blonde's scream. When the already tight walls clamped down on his member, Sasori couldn't hold on anymore and came inside the beautiful boy. Deidara's toes curled at the pleasurable sensation of heat being released inside him.

Their mouth parted, but they didn't move for several seconds, trying to regain much needed air.

Eventually, Sasori gathered enough strength to pull out and lay down beside the blonde, pulling him against his chest. Deidara sighed contently and nuzzled his lover's chest.

Seconds ticked by and nothing was said, until Deidara finally couldn't take it anymore. "So… I'm pregnant now, aren't I?"

"Yeah."

Deidara wondered how that worked. Where would the baby grow? He didn't have female parts. He decided not to ask though; for fear that the answer would either confuse him worse or scare the hell out of him.

* * *

Deidara groaned slightly and put a hand over his stomach. Naruto gave him a funny look. "What's up? You sick?"

"No… It's a long story…" He sighed and poked at the food on his tray, appetite suddenly gone. Being pregnant sucked, and it had only been two days! Thankfully, however, he only had to wait six months until he 'gave birth' instead of the standard nine. Unfortunately, Sasori wouldn't be there with him for much longer, and that's what scared Deidara more than anything.

Lee's voice broke through his thoughts, "Where is Sasori anyway?"

"Sakura wanted to talk to him, un."

"She's probably coming onto him." Kiba offered. He and Shino had started sitting with them since the whole sub incident. "Probably."

"Don't worry, Dei." Naruto spoke up again. "I'm sure he wouldn't cheat on you."

"No, I know he wouldn't." Deidara smiled slightly. Sasori was a good man, unlike several men on Earth. He'd never cheat on, or leave him. Ever.

As if on cue, Sasori came in and sat beside Deidara, giving him a light kiss on the temple. "Where's Sakura?"

"Dumpster."

"What?!" Deidara gave Sasori a little glare.

"Joking."

At that moment, Sakura walked into the cafeteria with a scared look on her face and a red mark around her neck. Deidara sighed, relieved and annoyed at the same time. Yes, Sasori was a good man. And, in two days, Deidara would never see him again.

* * *

They walked quietly, hand in hand, down the lightly crowded street toward home from a day of sight seeing. Deidara rested his head on the alien's shoulder.

Suddenly, a nearby building collapsed. Several people screamed and ran away when something large came running out of the debris.

Deidara gasped and stiffened. He was looking at what he thought to be a cross between an alligator and a dragon. It was solid black and stood on all fours, with two large, bull-like horns protruding from its skull, sharp ridges along its back, a long muzzle with very long, very sharp teeth sticking out, yellow glowing eyes, a tall, muscular body, a long tail, and very large and sharp claws. It opened its mouth and let out a horrible blood curtailing screaming noise, making everyone in the area have to cover their ears. Fire seemed the flare from its nostrils when it huffed.

Sasori growled and pulled Deidara off him, pushing him toward the forest. "Go home, Deidara."

"But-!"

"Now!"

Deidara whimpered at Sasori's stern tone, but turned and ran. He had to cover his ears when something smashed and it let out another scream.

* * *

Deidara was sitting on his bed, hugging his legs to his chest, when Sasori came in. "Danna!" He jumped off the bed and wrapped his arms around the alien's torso. Sasori gently returned the embrace.

"Are you okay?" Deidara looked up, then gasped when he saw the long cut on Sasori's face. He quickly went to the bathroom and wet a cloth. Sasori sat down on the bed when Deidara came back over and gently pressed it to the cut. "Does it hurt?"

"Nah. It'll heal in a day or two."

"That's good…" Deidara smiled slightly and kissed Sasori's uninjured cheek. "I'm glad you're okay, un."

Sasori grunted in response and took the rag from Deidara's grasp, holding it to his cheek so the blonde wouldn't have to. The human found a comfortable position in the alien's lap and nuzzled his neck.

Soon enough, the blonde fell asleep. Sasori tossed the rag to the floor, making a mental note to pick it up later, and carefully laid down on the bed. He positioned the blonde into his arms gently and lightly kissed his temple. Within ten minutes, he too slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

_The next night_

Deidara stared blankly up at the ceiling, emptiness weighting heavily on his chest. Sasori had gone a few minutes earlier, so now it was just him.

Being alone allowed his thoughts to wonder, mostly around the red head. Sasori had never hurt him, not counting the whole 'mating ritual' thing, of course. He'd never yelled at the blonde out of anger, never struck him, never seemed to be seriously aggravated, never cheated, never put him down, never made of fun of his beliefs, nothing. Yet Deidara was allowing him a life of loneliness, without a mate or children, simply because he was too afraid to leave.

Guilt, sorrow, loneliness, and anger at himself hit Deidara all at once like a ton of bricks, making him clutch his chest and sob. _'I can't do this!' _He rolled off the bed and ran to the closet, grabbing a suitcase and tossing it on the bed. He quickly went around the room, gathering things of great importance. A few photos, the kimono Sasori had given him, a necklace his mother left him, and his favorite stuffed animal from his childhood all went in the suitcase.

He ran into his father's room, suitcase in hand, and gently kissed the man's forehead. "Bye dad, love you." He whispered. Going downstairs, he stopped by the kitchen and grabbed a sticky note, quickly jotting down a small letter for his father.

_Went with Sasori_

_Love you, miss you already_

_Goodbye_

_-Deidara_

He stuck it on the fridge where his father was sure to find it and ran out the door.

Deidara ran as quickly as he could without hitting a tree through the forest. "Sasori!" He yelled every few dozen steps, hoping he wasn't too late.

"Danna!?" He looked around the clearing where Sasori's ship had crashed. It was empty. Sorrow weighed heavily on his chest as he fell to his knees, dropping the suitcase, and began to cry. He was too late…

"Deidara?"

The blonde jumped slightly and looked up. Sasori was suddenly in front of him, confusion apparent on his features. "Danna!" He jumped up and hugged the red head tightly, sobbing into his chest. "I thought you'd left already!"

"No, I can't until we get my ship loaded…" Sasori hugged back tightly and kissed blonde hair. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanna go with you!" Deidara sobbed. Surprised, Sasori lifted the boy's face to look at him. "Are you sure?"

"Yes! I don't want to be alone… and I know you don't either…"

"You don't have to be alone, you can find another mate. I don't mind being alone."

"Let me rephrase that. I don't want to be without _you_." Deidara smiled slightly. Sasori returned the smile. He wiped away the tears and kissed the younger boy, who gratefully kissed back. When they parted, they held each other for sometime. Deidara looked behind Sasori and saw Sasori's ship and a much larger craft come into view. _'Invisible ships… kick ass.'_

"Come on." Sasori pulled back from the embrace. "Let's wait on the ship, okay?"

Deidara smiled. "'Kay." He picked up his suitcase and followed Sasori onto the very large craft.

The first thing to greet Deidara's ears upon entering the craft was a hissed, "Oh shit, he's gonna be pissed!" coming from one of the rooms. "Great." Sasori mumbled and headed in that direction with Deidara eagerly following.

"Who's going to be pissed about what?" Sasori asked upon entering the room, Deidara close behind. A white haired male stiffened and spun around from facing a large screen and control panel. There was a large, stitched up man standing next to him. "What? Nothing!" The white haired boy spoke up, "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about! You're fucking paranoid!" He quirked and eyebrow and pointed at Deidara, seemingly excited about having a distraction. "Who the fuck is that?"

Sasori made an annoyed noise. It had only been five minutes since they had arrived, and he was already getting on his nerves. "This," he gestured to the blonde, "Is my mate, Deidara."

A big grin spread across the smaller man's face. "It's about fucking time you got fucking laid!"

"Whatever. Deidara, this is Hidan and Kakuzu." Sasori said, gesturing to the respective males. Hidan waved, creepy grin still in place, and Kakuzu gave a nod. "So, is it a dude or a chick?" Hidan questioned.

"I'm a boy you bastard!" Deidara yelled angrily.

"Hey, hey! Don't get your panties in a fucking knot! Geez!" He raised his hands defensively. Deidara was about to make a retort, but Sasori interrupted. "Hidan, what the hell did you break?"

"Fucking nothing!"

"Your ship." Kakuzu spoke up for the first time. "JASHIN-DAMMED BASTARD!" Hidan screamed. "Oh shut up. He damaged it while pulling it into the hull." Kakuzu said coolly. Hidan gave him a glare. "If you don't shut the hell up, I swear to Jashin-sama you're not getting fucking laid for a fucking week." He hissed through tightly clenched teeth. Kakuzu quirked an eyebrow, but stayed quiet.

Sasori sighed in frustration, rubbing his temples. "Fine. It was damaged already anyway." He grabbed Deidara's wrist and led him away and toward his room. As he was being led away, Deidara could swear he heard something like, "I damn well _better _be getting laid tonight." But he wasn't sure.

Deidara couldn't help but smile upon entering the room. It was just a sort of guest room, but it was large with a big comfy bed in the middle and a few dressers to put things in. He sat his suitcase next to one and opened it, pulling out his stuffed owl and hugging it tightly as he sat on the bed. Sasori sat down next to him and pulled him close. There was a soft rumble as the craft began to lift off the ground.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this? Once we leave the atmosphere, we have to get special permission before we can come back."

Deidara nodded and rested his head on the alien's shoulder. "I can't think of anyone I'd rather spend my life with than you, un."

"What about your father?"

"He'll be okay. Probably meet a nice lady, live happily ever after, whatever, un." Deidara smiled slightly, hoping all that came true. "Hn. I wish him the best then." Sasori said before kissing blonde hair. Deidara's smile widened as he went to lay his head in Sasori's lap, looking up at the red head. Sasori gently stroked his cheek, making him sigh softly.

As he lay contently, Deidara's thoughts began to wonder again. He wasn't sure of what he felt for the red head was love, but it was definitely something strong he'd never felt before. He knew that, no matter what, he was going to be happy here, and someday soon, there was definitely going to be love.

* * *

Deidara stared, amazed, out the large window in the main room and into space. The Earth seemed so small from here… and beautiful. There were many billions of stars everywhere and the planets that he had never seen from Earth were so clear from here. He hugged the owl a little closer to himself, suddenly feeling very tiny. He could hear Sasori and Kakuzu in the other room, talking to some orange haired guy with lots of piercing's on the monitor.

Someone plopped into the chair next to him and leaned back against the window. "Sup, fucking transvestite?" Hidan smirked.

"Nothing, Turrets Syndrome." Deidara returned the smirk. Hidan gave him an annoyed look, not liking the crack about his cussing. "Zip it, blondie."

"Make me, whitey."

Hidan smirked. "I think you and I are going to be real good fucking friends."

Deidara couldn't help but smile and laugh, same thought having run across his mind.

* * *

Sorry, I couldn't help but add the last part! Anyway… that's the end! Longest chapter at 10 pages! Yay! Review please!! I have an idea for an Epilogue, but it wouldn't be very long or very good and would take place about ten years later. Yei or nei?


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